i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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