if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's Friday. Sex?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
