I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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