I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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