I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
