My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
