the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize