we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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