She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize