I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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