so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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