i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
