I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
