I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize