So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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