I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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