Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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