You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize