I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
