D3 body, D1 cock
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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