Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
