he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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