i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
