is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
