I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
