Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize