I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do herpes really smell.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize