She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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