She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
