I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
