THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
