That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize