i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Farmville is her only friend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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