So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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