The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
