honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
