My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
