I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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