you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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