but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
