only if we run a train.
done.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
