I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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