If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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