guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
