Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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