I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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