He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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