Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
