The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Jerry, you need to find god
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize