This dress was meant to end up on your floor
now i know why i became what i already was.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize