Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
