benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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