did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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