even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
