She's JV to your varsity
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
