I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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