I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
