It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
