He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
